How I want to die

Yes- I realize that this is a morbid title to a post- but this topic actually comes up more often than you would expect it. Everyone always asks the question- how do you want to die? To be honest, the first thought that comes in my mind is not how I want to die- but rather how I do not want to die. I don’t want to be 90 some years old with my respirator dragging behind me trying to make my way to my medicine to retrieve my morning set of pills- only to trip, fall and not be able to get up. I also don’t want to have a tragic death such as a five car pile up on the freeway where people feel obligated to put flowers on the side of the road on the anniversary of my death every year thereafter. And when I do die- one thing is for sure- I don’t want to be buried in the ground where worms and bugs can then proceed to feed on my decaying carcass and turn it into their place of residence for who knows how long.

I would rather leave this world in a Bingle-like fashion, stupefying and perplexing everyone, and hearing echos of “That was the way Bingle would have wanted it” following me to wherever it is that I go afterwards.

Spontaneous human combustion. Yes. Spontaneous human combustion.

It’s perfect- mysterious, unexplainable, unexpected.

Wikipedia describes it as:

Spontaneous human combustion (SHC) refers to the belief that the human body sometimes burns without an external source of ignition. There is much speculation and controversy regarding SHC, for it is not a proven natural phenomenon. Many theories and hypotheses have attempted to explain how SHC might occur, but those which rely on current scientific understanding say that instances mistaken for spontaneous combustion actually required a source of ignition. One such hypothesis is the “wick effect“, in which the clothing of the victim soaks up melted human fat and acts like the wick of a candle. Another possibility is that the clothing is caused to burn by a discharge of static electricity. The likelihood that truly spontaneous human combustion actually takes place is remote, due to the presence of water and the lack of highly flammable compounds and oxygen in the human body.^[1]

More here

I hope that after my spontaneous combustion, I am given a cool nickname like Mary Reeser did as “The Cinder Lady”. Mary was also born in 1884, and I in 1984- funny coincidence?